career advice

You Think You Understand Introverts at Work, But You Probably Don't

You Think You Understand Introverts at Work, But You Probably Don't

Why introverts are misunderstood, underestimated, and more capable than people realise.

For most of my life I thought there was something wrong with me. I was the quiet kid who stayed indoors on my Commodore 64 while everyone else played outside.

Every school report said the same thing. Quiet. Rarely participates. Keeps to himself. I was described as shy, antisocial, withdrawn and even grumpy.

Before I knew any better, I believed it.

That was who I thought I was.

It followed me into adulthood and into work. I avoided speaking up in meetings. I leaned on email instead of calls. I would choose instant messaging over walking across an office.

When online takeaway ordering arrived it genuinely changed my life because I could order food without having to speak to anyone. I thought that made me odd, but it was simply my introversion showing up before I understood it.

It took someone else to point it out. A consultant we brought into a startup looked at me after a few meetings and said, “You are quite introverted, aren’t you?” That one line sent me down a path of reading, reflecting and realising something important.

I was not shy. I was not socially awkward. I was not a loner.

I have a preference for introversion, and I can flip into extroverted behaviour when I choose to. Most people are surprised when I tell them I am an introvert because I have learned how to switch modes, but the cost is energy. When I do a full day of meetings my wife and daughter can expect silence from me that evening.

I am not miserable. I am drained.

Introversion is not what most people assume

Introversion is not fear of people. It is not a lack of confidence. It is not being antisocial. Many introverts can be engaging, sociable and expressive. The difference is not ability. It is energy. Interaction drains introverts. It powers up extroverts. That is why introverts often look like they have shut down after a day of calls or office chatter.

The best way I have ever explained it is through what I shared in one of my posts.

Imagine spending the morning using apps that destroy your phone battery. By lunchtime the battery is low and you know you cannot charge it until later. So you switch into low power mode. You stop doing anything that drains it further. That is exactly how introverts operate. Small talk, meetings, calls and constant interaction drain our battery, so we change our behaviour to preserve what is left. It is not rudeness. It is survival.

How introversion actually shows up at work

Here are real examples from my own career that resonated with tens of thousands of people when I shared them:

• Booking meeting rooms just to work alone
• Wearing headphones before it became socially acceptable
• Waiting until the kitchen was empty before making a brew
• Walking corridors pretending to be on the phone to avoid small talk
• Eating lunch alone in my car instead of the canteen
• Joining meetings 30 seconds late to skip the chit chat
• Ignoring calls and offering help via Slack instead

To non introverts this sounds strange. To introverts it sounds completely normal.

There are other patterns too.

• I prefer email or DMs because spoken communication drains more energy
• In group discussions I am usually the last to speak because I am processing
• If I have my headphones on or I am eating alone it is recharge time
• After a day of peopling I will say no to team drinks even if I like everyone there

None of that means I dislike people. It means I need space to reset.

The workplace often misinterprets all of this

I once had a boss say I would never be a good leader because I was too quiet. He still gave me the job, probably because he could not find anyone else he preferred. The result was a high performing TA function, dramatically improved hiring metrics and employee engagement scores that reached 100 percent in some months. Quiet did not stop me leading. It helped me lead. I listened. I noticed things. I understood people. I thought before reacting. Yet that is not the leadership model most workplaces recognise or promote.

Many introverts never get the chance to prove it because silence is mistaken for lack of potential.

The shift that happens when introverts understand themselves

There is a moment when things click. Meetings make sense. Social fatigue makes sense. The need to recharge makes sense. You stop thinking you have to become someone else in order to succeed. You stop forcing yourself into environments that deplete you. You stop apologising for needing space. You learn how to switch on when required and how to recover after.

During lockdown this became clearer than ever for me. I used to recharge during my 45 minute commute. That disappeared and was replaced with a five second walk downstairs. So I adapted. I woke up earlier to get quiet time before work. I went to bed later to decompress alone. I spaced my meetings to avoid burnout. It was not indulgent. It was essential.

Energy management is the real performance strategy

The most effective introverts at work are not the ones who fake extroversion. They are the ones who plan, pace and conserve energy so they can perform.

Strategies that work include:

• scheduling deep work first thing in the morning
• blocking calendar space weeks in advance
• planning low cognitive work after heavy meeting days
• choosing written communication where possible
• protecting recharge time at lunch or after work
• avoiding unnecessary social obligations
• limiting back to back calls
• understanding personal battery limits

This is how introverts stay productive, healthy and effective. It is not avoidance. It is management.

What colleagues and managers need to know

Introverts are not disengaged when they are quiet.
They are thinking.

Introverts are not rude when they decline social events.
They are preserving energy.

Introverts are not lacking confidence when they do not speak first.
They are processing.

Introverts are not poor communicators because they prefer writing.
They are being clear and efficient.

Introverts are not weak leaders because they are calm.
They often create the strongest teams.

If workplaces stopped misreading introversion, they would unlock performance that is currently suppressed by misunderstanding.

The strengths that introverts bring

Introverts excel in:

• deep focus
• listening
• observation
• empathy
• analysis
• thoughtful decision making
• steady leadership

These strengths matter more than ever in complex, distracting, noisy environments.

A different definition of success

Success for introverts is not about becoming louder. It is about:

• understanding your wiring
• managing your energy
• communicating on your terms
• choosing environments that fit
• embracing your strengths
• speaking when it matters
• not apologising for silence

Quiet people can and do succeed. They just do it differently.

The message both sides need to hear

Introverts are not broken or difficult. They are simply wired for depth over noise. With the right awareness they can perform at a high level, lead teams, contribute powerfully and thrive without pretending to be extroverts.

Introverts need to stop seeing their nature as a problem.
Managers need to stop seeing introversion as a limitation.

Once that shifts, work becomes better for everyone.

Start with these tools that thousands of jobseekers use every week:

Read next