career advice

How to Read Your Manager and Manage Them Back

How to Read Your Manager and Manage Them Back
How to Read Your Manager and Manage Them Back

Here’s something most people don’t realise: your career growth isn’t just about how well you perform. It’s just as much about how well you manage the relationship with the person who has the most influence over your next step — your boss.

I’ve been in recruitment and talent acquisition for almost 20 years, and one thing I’ve learned is this: good people can stagnate under bad management, and average people can soar under great management. The difference often comes down to one skill that doesn’t get taught at school or uni — the ability to manage upwards.

This isn’t about manipulation. It’s about recognising what type of manager you’re dealing with, adapting your style, and making sure you still get what you need for your career, even if your boss isn’t perfect (and most aren’t).

Let’s break down the four most common manager types and exactly how to read them, work with them, and manage them back.

1. The Micromanager

We’ve all worked for one. They want daily updates, endless detail, and sign-off on everything. It can feel suffocating.

How to spot them:

  • They ask for constant updates on your progress.
  • They’ll often redo your work, even if it’s fine.
  • They focus on process more than outcome.

The danger:
You can feel like you’re not trusted, which dents your confidence. Worse, you waste hours managing their anxieties instead of just doing the job.

How to manage them back:

  • Feed their need for control proactively. Give regular updates before they ask. Short, structured summaries (“Here’s what I’ve done, here’s what’s next, here’s any risks”).
  • Build their trust gradually. Deliver consistently, and over time they’ll start loosening the reins.
  • Don’t fight the detail. You won’t change them, but you can channel their obsession into better outcomes by showing how you’ve thought ahead.

2. The Absentee

The opposite problem. They’re barely around. You get no feedback, no guidance, and sometimes no idea where they are.

How to spot them:

  • You rarely have one-to-ones.
  • Decisions are slow because they’re never available.
  • You’re left to figure things out with minimal input.

The danger:
Without direction, you risk drifting. Worse, when opportunities for progression come up, you don’t have a strong advocate because your boss isn’t engaged enough to fight your corner.

How to manage them back:

  • Take ownership of the relationship. Book the one-to-ones yourself. Bring clear agendas. Don’t wait for them.
  • Document progress. Follow up meetings with quick summaries so your work is visible (and you’ve got a paper trail if you ever need it).
  • Find secondary sponsors. If your manager isn’t engaged, build relationships with other senior stakeholders who will notice your contributions.

3. The Sponsor

This is the gold standard. A sponsor boss doesn’t just manage you — they advocate for you when you’re not in the room. They push your name forward for projects, introduce you to their network, and help you progress.

How to spot them:

  • They talk about your career growth, not just your day job.
  • You get opportunities to stretch beyond your role.
  • You see them actively putting your name forward in meetings.

The danger:
There isn’t one — unless you get complacent. If you’re lucky enough to have a sponsor, don’t take it for granted.

How to manage them back:

  • Be open about your ambitions. They want to help you, but they can only do that if they know what you’re aiming for.
  • Deliver on the stretch opportunities they give you. This builds trust and makes them more likely to keep advocating for you.
  • Show loyalty, but not dependency. A sponsor relationship works best when it’s mutual — you help them deliver on their objectives too.

4. The Credit-Taker

They’ll happily present your ideas as their own, or downplay your contribution to make themselves look good.

How to spot them:

  • You hear about your own work being praised in meetings you weren’t in — but without your name attached.
  • They rarely give public recognition.
  • They “reframe” your suggestions as if they thought of them.

The danger:
Your work advances their career, not yours. If unchecked, this leaves you invisible when senior opportunities come up.

How to manage them back:

  • Make your work visible outside the manager relationship. Present directly to stakeholders when possible. Share updates in group forums rather than just via your boss.
  • Document everything. Keep records of what you delivered and when. This protects you if credit disputes arise.
  • Pick your battles. Sometimes credit-taking is politics, not malice. If it’s occasional and harmless, let it go. But if it consistently damages your progression, you may need to escalate or rethink your role.

How to Work Out Which Boss You’ve Got

Sometimes, managers are a mix of these types — a micromanager who’s also absent at key times, or a sponsor who occasionally takes credit. The key is to work out which behaviours are dominant.

Ask yourself:

  • Do I feel over-controlled or under-supported?
  • Does my boss advocate for me when I’m not in the room?
  • Is my visibility rising or shrinking because of them?

That gives you your baseline. From there, you adapt.

Managing Upwards Without Being Manipulative

Managing upwards often gets a bad reputation, like it’s some kind of sneaky office politics. But here’s the reality: your boss is human. They’ve got blind spots, pressures, and insecurities just like you.

When you adapt your style to theirs, you’re not being fake. You’re making the relationship more effective so both of you succeed.

Think of it this way:

  • A micromanager wants reassurance. Give it to them, then win back your autonomy gradually.
  • An absentee wants independence. Take it, but make sure your visibility doesn’t disappear with it.
  • A sponsor wants you to thrive. Feed them wins they can use to champion you.
  • A credit-taker wants recognition. Share the spotlight in ways that make sure you still get your share.

The 6–12 Month Playbook for Managing Upwards

Here’s how to put this into practice over the next year:

Month 1–2:

  • Identify your manager’s dominant type.
  • Start small adjustments — more structured updates, self-booked one-to-ones, visibility through cross-team work.

Month 3–4:

  • Build secondary relationships outside your boss. Sponsors and stakeholders who know your name.
  • Start documenting achievements and results in a simple, shareable format.

Month 5–6:

  • Position yourself for opportunities by aligning your work with company priorities.
  • Use your manager’s style to your advantage — e.g. let a micromanager “own” your success if it means you get exposure.

Month 7–12:

  • Review progress. Are you more visible? Are opportunities starting to come your way?
  • If you’re still blocked despite adapting, it might be time to consider whether your ceiling is tied to the manager — and whether a move inside or outside the company is needed.

A choice that can make or break your career

You don’t get to choose your manager, but you do get to choose how you manage the relationship. And that choice can make or break your career.

The best professionals aren’t just good at their jobs — they’re good at reading people, adapting to different leadership styles, and making sure their value is visible regardless of who they report to.

That’s how you not only survive under any boss, but thrive.

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